ever increasing disconnect

choosing who and how to connect with others can be the difference in a momentary pleasant experience and time you'll never get back. I had an interesting conversation today actually it was the only conversation I had today with another human and it consisted of five words in the form of an email and it went like this, "..it arrived in good order." That was it and there was no response = perfect, the end.   

Whether it's television or satellite radio, phone or text, more and more these days I find what is apparently the world's most dreaded circumstances of self-distancing to be exactly what I need a lot more of. Six feet isn't near enough and I'm in favor of an all-out total ban on seeing or hearing from another human being for a trial period of twenty years or so and then we'll take a look at the data and see how it went. By then I'll be 84 and probably dead but if not I'll be totally blind and deaf and won't be able to see, read or hear anyone's bullshit. 

If I'm not gone I'll have stories to tell of how I used to care about a lot of things I no longer do and that time we had that virus thing that stopped the world and left everyone on social media platforms to drown in mindnumbing funny animal videos, music from warshed up old wrinkled rock stars, and blog posts like this one. Then in the fall we had round two of that virus coupled with the flu that made round one look like the pilot for The Twilight Zone.

I'm still working on both houses to organize and purge leftovers from far better people and times than me and this. The task seems impossible to get a handle on and all my time spent making progress is through a lot of pain and misery that feels like it will consume and suffocate me. I plan to keep going until I no longer can and I'll keep the television on mute and the sat radio on all the old channels and I'll have paid more attention in my life to things I no longer care about than I'm able to justify thinking back on.

There's cold filtered water in the fridge and a few cans of soup in the cabinet, some cherry sour candy and some aspirin so I can sleep. Feels like it may rain and Mother's day is coming. I'm reminded of it constantly despite my efforts to push it away- I love and miss you mom.