the culture of fear

I don't remember what brought it on but a few days ago I was thinking about the subject of fear and the role it's played in my life especially for the past few years in relation to my mom's health before she passed away. In hindsight, I think fear played a significant role in my denial of what was happening. The depth of sadness I face now can also be directly attributed to the fear of losing her and that same fear kept me from accepting and dealing with what would become inevitable. 

There are countless quotes related to fear and they all seem particularly relevant to me. I've questioned if it was healthy for me in the past to look fear in the face and discount its value by shoving it aside like just another roadblock to getting around. In some cases less important to me today that reaction was one key to my success. In the case of the mortality of the single most important person ever in my life, I think fear needed to be given its due respect and dealt with when there was still time to make peace with it. 

In some of our talks, my mom and I went over the fear we both had that one day she wouldn't be here and I was always reluctant if not insistent we did not even go there. Now that she has gone I think perhaps maybe it would be easier in some ways if we had talked about it, cried about it, and sorted it out. The blame has to go to me for trying to bypass the pain of those conversations. My advice to others anywhere near this same level of meaning to their lives is not to avoid or ignore your greatest fears but to give them whatever level of respect they deserve and not one single level more than that and sort them out before it's too late and you're left sitting where I am today writing about not having done that. 

Ironically a dinner conversation came up recently where a friend/co-worker brought up the subject at the table of what everyone's greatest fears were. Since I had already experienced my greatest fear of losing my mom, my answer was a simple one, I no longer have any fear. The complicated background of being able to say that is just too personal and brings on far too much emotion for it to be appropriate in public. 

To be completely free of fear is not necessarily something you want to aspire to. For me, it was much easier to fear not having enough work to take my mind away from my mom's health decline. Whenever I would travel I would worry that something might happen like a fall or an illness with mom back here at home and that I might not get back in time. There were things like did I have her house filled with groceries, the things she liked and making sure she was actually eating and taking her meds in the right doses and at the right time and all the other things around a house like repairs and yardwork getting done. My own health issues that I put aside for years out of fear she would worry about me and not herself. All of my fears for the past very long time have been related to the one person in my life that ever meant anything to me and now she is no longer here to worry for.

I can honestly say and I did at the table that I no longer fear anything. My worst fears have all been realized and I can't think of a single thing in this world that could eclipse the fear I had of losing my mom. For now, I think I can say with some degree of perspective that although you can't let fear take an unnecessary high priority in your life, having some level of fear can be a good thing and having absolutely no fear in your life can be somewhat dangerous and unstabilizing. Having nothing to lose can be a bad neighborhood to live in and having healthy levels of fear and concerns can keep you from making really bad decisions like doing or saying things you wished you hadn't and worse.. 

This isn't a post about the virtues of fear but about balance. Worry can rule your life or give you a base for making and adhering to a list of priorities. Fear at unhealthy levels can make your life totally miserable or give you pause and perspective that no fear can destroy. My mom never wanted me to worry for her but I know she felt loved and cared for because I did. She worried and feared what would become of her only son if she were to pass away and I too felt loved and cared for because she did. 

My experience the past few years and especially the last several months has forced me to conclude that I felt more alive and well when I had some important things to worry over than when I lost all fear completely on November 16, 2019. 

So your question C. about fears were answered by me in the manner in which was appropriate at the time but in the back of my mind was the contents of this post. Although I had already had these thoughts in my head from a few days before you asked, it was good to go back and touch on how important it is to have something in life worth worrying about..

what millennials will be voting for YOU this year

You hear conservatives always whining about how awful socialism is and here is a video on youtube that shows how it begins and how it ends. You make the call.. If you tend to vote for democrats and all the various iterations of them, this should give you an idea of what you can look forward to. The key to opening the door to socialism and marxism here in America was putting your cute little kids into a public school system and then mortgaging your homes to put them into colleges that shoved the socialist ideology into high gear as your kids became eligible to vote.

So watch the entire video and see if maybe socialism and all its various forms of democrat iterations look like something you would like to try instead of this capitalist ideology that we have to endure here in America. Get your kids to watch with you so they can see a side of socialism they are most assuredly not getting to see in school because it would most certainly be offensive. Trust me, I spent a dozen years working in a school district and I know what they are doing in a lot of those classrooms while you are at work and unaware.

Be sure to vote for your favorite way of life this year..

So here ya go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THPe3D69vJ0

find peace instead

Are some things just unforgivable? There are all sorts of opinions and as many examples to back up every thought anyone has ever had on the subject. Google it and have at it. My life was turned upside down when mom died recently and whenever I think about how I feel about certain things and certain people, it's two lives I have to consider now in order to think it through. One is the life prior to losing my mom, and the other is the one I face now without her.

Forgiveness is one of those things I never struggled with much when my mom was here I just went with the fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me method and moved on. Betrayal, lying, stealing and their associated ilks for me has always been a deal-breaker and one time is all it takes and I'm done with you and not just for now, but forever.

My mom was never like that and she didn't teach me to be that way either. Was how I learned to deal with things and people "out there in the streets," where I spent too much of my time growing up since I was 15. I should have stayed home- But almost immediately after my mom passed away I noticed an unusual (for me) softer tone coming from me. I drove slower, looked at the clock less and turned down the radio and listened more to lyrics than I had before. I wasn't letting myself get rattled too much anymore, and at some point, I turned towards thinking about forgiving those in my life that had caused me grief. I think I was suffering from shock and maybe PTSD at the time. Grief to me had one meaning when my mom was here to take care of and was an entirely different level of despair once she was called home and left this earth.

It's been 14 weeks and I've been a wreck at times and OK some. All over the map and from one day to another and there is no way to predict how I'm going to be in an hour because the things left for me to do are many and all have the opportunity to trigger intense emotions.

Today I was thinking about those who were there when I needed them through my mom's last few months and those who were not. There was only one who dropped her life in another state and came to help without any conditions or limits on time and even stayed with me after mom passed away and basically saved me from a complete and total mental breakdown. Only God could have sensed how important it was for her to come and help care for mom, then me.

Then there were the others-

There isn't a way for me to adequately describe the worst of some experiences I had to endure with a couple of others who are "close," that I expected to be able to count on in a desperate time like this without exposing a vile, callous, and inhumane side of them that would be impossible for some to even believe. What family means to me is clearly something different to others and when "family," is just a word used for people when it feels good to hear yourself say it, I just don't see the value. Those who are one person to some, and an entirely different person during a life-changing event like this has caused me to question whether or not I am even capable of forgiveness in this situation. Among the vast number of things I've had to think about the past near 4 months since I had to lay my sweet mom to rest is this forgiveness thing that keeps coming up in my mind uninvited.

Those "family," members who didn't come to see my mom before she passed away that she loved so very much, and those who didn't come to her funeral, I think it may take more years than I have left to forgive you. The ones who I asked for help who fought me over every single minute they were asked to be there, after praying about it and speaking to my mom in prayer many times, I really don't think I'm going to get to a place where forgiveness is possible for that level of abandonment in this lifetime. I'm saddened by it all but it is what it is.





On a much happier note, my friends really did come through. I wasn't totally certain I actually had any friends at this level and I was reminded by their presence that I most assuredly do. Everyone's name, those who came through during the hardest time of my life, and those who selfishly and intentionally made it worse for me and my mom at the same time, and those who were too busy to acknowledge the magnitude of this loss both before it occurred and even at mom's funeral, your names and faces are forever etched in my mind.

I have put a lot of thought into forgiveness and like I said I have tapped on the shoulders of God to light the way to help me sort it out and I just don't think I'm ever going to get there for some.

The overriding thing that was going through my head today was that all of the things over my lifetime that I feared the most, that worried me and kept me awake in my worst of times, all of those things have now taken place. I have no more fear that one day I might lose the one person I ever let into my life. No longer will I have to worry that I'll be traveling somewhere and get a message that the only person in the world that never left my side and loved me unconditionally my entire life has fallen and broken a hip or worse, or gotten sick and is in the hospital and I can't get back here in the blink of an eye. The vile and unimaginable actions and inactions of some at the most vulnerable time of my life while my mom was dying, will never again hurt or cause me grief that is worse than I've experienced from you already. It's all been done. Never again will I suffer the realities of my worst fears of losing the only parent I ever knew, my foundation, my support system, my mom. She is now gone forever. 

I will continue on some level to try to find a pathway to forgive but for now, I am completely bulletproof from any pain or suffering caused by or related to an outside force that could even remotely come close to what has already taken place.

I've read a lot about this topic and if anyone else is suffering from it there is a ton of opinions that can be read on the subject all over the place. Take it all in and let it work for you on your terms and don't let a society pressure you to feel like you are less than strong if you decide some forgiveness isn't in the cards for you right now. May you, we, all, find peace in whatever form that takes instead.       

will you still need me, will you still feed me..

Not many can say they have been loved unconditionally for almost 64 years, but I can. There are very few who will ever need to know my upbringing but without ever having a father in my life I count myself as the most blessed human being who has ever lived.

Mom raised two girls and me the baby on her own. We always had a roof over our heads, food on the table and at Christmas time we had presents under the tree and a stocking stuffed with all sorts of things. We didn't have money but I was rich. I may have gotten a used bicycle as a Christmas present but my gift was from God and it was my mom to come home to.

Mom told me of when she was a little girl and she and her sisters would get a quarter from Gran to walk to the store to get a steak to feed the whole family. They had a cow they kept in the field across the road and in those days bathtime was Daddy first then Gran, then each of the four girls one at a time in the same bathwater. Those days were where my mom learned how to be strong and thrifty. She learned to be patient and forgiving and to love God.

Mom wasn't perfect and she made some mistakes she would cry over but she never one time put any of us in harm's way and always loved us more than anyone else including herself. She always felt she let me down by not having been able to keep my father in my life but it wasn't up to her and I would always tell her you really can't miss what you've never had and besides, having her as my mom made me the lucky one over everyone I knew who had two parents.

A place for everything and everything in its place was her way of doing things and man oh man am I finding that out as I go through things as often as I feel up to it. Everything had to be clean and tidy and put away. It irritated me at times because I wasn't that way but I'm finding washers and bolts, screws and assorted things from decades ago that are all together and fit each other and most in plastic bags and squared away. If she wasn't going to use something anymore she would wash it up good then wrap it up in plastic and put it in the garage. She or someone might need it one day so she never threw anything away.

There are letters and newspaper articles, report cards from elementary school, and photos some from over 100 years ago and there are tons of them. As the sole executor of her will, it's left to me to see that everything finds a home where these things will be taken care of and cherished as she and her mom and all the way back to Gran's mom would have wanted. It's not an easy task by any means and the emotional stir is as exhausting as the sorting. I'm doing it all at my own pace and when I have to walk away from it for a time I walk.

Today 64 years ago and 2 months too early, God gave me the greatest gift anyone on earth has ever received. I never felt like I was deserving of such a gift but my mom made damn sure I knew she felt like I was. Today I went to lay down some ceramic flowers at the cemetery and I talked to her a bit and to God. All I can do is give thanks to them both for showing me what unconditional love feels like and to promise to work on feeling like I deserved it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCTunqv1Xt4 

and it's hard at the end of the day..

Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SiylvmFI_8

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that will make it ok There's always some reason to feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release Memories seep from my veins They may be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of an Angel fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees In the arms of an Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

-Sarah McLachlan

I threw thousands of dollars in the trash today and feel great about it

couple of years ago I was worried about what the future was looking like for me with my mom getting older and knowing I would need to step up for her when she needed it and I was getting older too. So thanks to my no-frills lifestyle and some timely good investment decisions I made when this country wised up and hired a solid businessman instead of another liberal whack job to get the bloated jack-booted government created by the worst mistake America has ever made obama, an economic boom the likes of which America has never seen before, funded my retirement and that worry was never again going to take up space in my head.

So back to a couple years ago. I began looking around at ALL the stuff  I had acquired over the years in my house and my garage most of it related to the TV business I had been in and weren't going to be using anymore and one day I just started tossing some of those things into huge trash bags and kicking them to the curb. I had at least 15 black garbage bags full of things that would have given a heart attack to most hoarders who would have seen the value in a lot of it but it just had to go or I was going to drown in the misery of seeing it stacked up all over every day.

For me, its use it or toss it out and there isn't much in between. I can't bear the idea of going through tons of things collected over the years and trying to sort through my sentiMENTAL issues with it or the hassles related to selling and shipping stuff I just wanted the stuff to be gone. Old Playboy and Time magazines from the late 60s and 70s, a full set of encyclopedia from the year 1969. Some of that I kept and still have but all the TV business stuff that I spent 10s of thousands of dollars on and no longer use, that stuff got bagged and tossed. Even 100s of videotapes of murders, house fires, cop chases and on and on and on from almost 20 years of giving the impression to viewers every day that those idiotic events were something of value they needed to know about, all of it, thrown out.

But not all of it and today a lot of what was left got tossed to the curb and I feel really good about it. I made a lot of money in the TV business and that stuff helped me do it but I'm no longer interested in shooting TV and one of the first things I feel the urge to do in my "new life," is intense purging of massive volumes of unwanted crap. So out it went..

Why don't you have a garage sale, why not donate it, and a hundred other suggestions will come out of people who read this but trust that I know how I operate and thinking about the hassles surrounding any of that would force me to just leave it all junked up here and that, ain't happening anymore over here. Like I said, for me, it's keep it or throw it out and today I felt like I needed a good ole fashion purge and it felt good. A little sad, but good.

Maybe it's self-therapy that drove me today I'm not sure but the idea of going minimalist is appealing to me like at no other time in my life. When I was traveling all over the world and shooting it may have looked like I had a full well-rounded life but ever since my mom passed away it's become clear to me that everything I ever did was for her to feel proud of me and not to worry I would turn out how my much younger years appeared to be taking me. I wanted her to be proud of what I was doing, excited that I was seeing the world and able to show some of it to her in photos and videos. Now with her gone, it feels like there is no worthwhile reason to do any of that anymore. My mom was my entire world and although I knew it in my heart, I don't think I was completely aware of it in my head. Today I am fully aware and all that I have left in my possession associated with that other life prior to her not being here is just another reminder of the depth of the loss and it hurts.

my first fake "Official Press" I.D.

 So out it went a few years ago and out it went today and I'm not even half done. One day I'll write about how I landed in the television business in the first place and it will be interesting to a few, it will piss off several,  and it will be believable to almost no one. Don't touch that dial.





I plan on renovating one house and doing most of it myself to keep my mind busy and instead of living between two houses and trying to keep up with them both, I'll probably sell one. 20 years of television gear and memories and tapes (yes we used to use tape) and the thousands of dollars spent to get it all done and I'm pushing all of that out of my new life as fast as I can. One day soon there will be nothing left in my possession to show I ever had a life that wasn't directly connected to taking care of my mom and I'm perfectly fine with that and looking forward to it.

Mom was always more proud of me than I ever was of myself and I intend on living my new life in a way as close as possible to one she would want for me. So I need to get all this stuff out of my way.

Dear heavenly father to you I owe my every smile, my every happy moment, and my gratefulness at having the mom that you blessed me with. Please keep your hand on my shoulder and guide me with the light of the memories of my sweet mom towards the day when you are ready for me to see her again. I literally cannot wait. Amen and amen. 

just one more

A couple days ago in an emotional storm, if I'm completely honest, I was thinking that I wish I had just one more minute with my mom. Maybe just a few more moments to say all the things and to hug and kiss and hold her one more time. I could look into her eyes and make certain she knew it was OK if God was calling her home that I would find some way to be alright. Just one more anything-

2019 will go down as the toughest year I could imagine. My mom's beloved cats Rocky, then Susie passed away a few months apart and I who has massive emotional issues with death in general but with pets, oh- I was there when they took their last breaths and had to bury each of them along with a large part of my mom's heart-

Mom found this brother and sister after their mom had disappeared just after they had been born. We think maybe someone poisoned the mom cat but we don't know. These two were tiny and were crying for their mother and my mom became that mother and hand fed them with an eyedropper until they could eat on their own. They took a place in her heart that was open to anyone or anything that ever had a need. That was who my mom was to everyone that ever knew her and I've found papers and cancelled checks and cards written to her by almost everyone she knew thanking her for that help.

We spent weeks and late-night vet hospital visits and round the clock hours tending to the cats in the weeks just before they passed away and my mom knew they were giving her the last times she would have. Those little balls of fur lived with mom for 18 years, a long life for a cat and they gave her as much as she gave them and then they left our lives. Mom always did that too, she would give everything she had if you needed it and often did and then after 92 years and the last few spent with a lot of physical issues, God said enough and called her home and she left my life to find a purpose and a reason to go on.

Some days I look for that reason and some days I'm just too tired to look. If only I had just one more hug, one more sweet kiss on my face, one more look from those eyes- This is what my heart aches for and will never have. This is just one of those days that hits me out of the blue and then I hopefully will find something else to focus on and pick myself up. There is still much to do and sitting here like this isn't productive I know. I refuse to try to force myself out of this memory purge that I do on days like this because I'm certain it's part of the process and I will just endure it and let it do its thing.

It's Valentines Day 2020 and it's cold outside about 36 degrees. I'm hungry and I'm exhausted and I'm the luckiest old man that has ever lived to have had a mother like mine. My daily goal is to not continue to crumble but to get up and go forward with whatever gusto I can muster and always make her proud. Maybe one day I can reach my goal and extend them to becoming someone who can help someone else. That is what she would want me to do.

corn chips

As if I needed just one more reason not to engage in random interactions with other human beings, I get two solid reasons today and a couple of other possibles that may have flown over my head at the time. Tomorrow I'm thinking rabid silence may be on my plate and I'm going to make every effort and see how that goes. The idea of getting together with others to do almost anything has always been the bane of my existence. In school, I would walk down the hall past gaggles of contemporaries and not recognize a single face or say one word to anyone. Wasn't that I didn't like them, I just found school to be a waste of time and I desperately didn't want any part of it.

Most kids in school seemed to be having a good time while I literally hated it and couldn't wait to get out, go to work, and make money. Today is much the same type of thing. I had a rare conversation (for me) with someone I had never met yesterday and inside that conversation, I revealed I didn't smoke, didn't like the taste of alcohol, and couldn't stand drugs since 40 some odd years ago. I'm not one to talk much let alone revealing personal information to strangers but there I was doing it again... and it didn't take long to regret it. The person says, so what you're saying is you dislike all the things that bring joy?? 

My first thought was, so dope and drinking equate to joy in this person's mind and I am actually sitting here wasting energy having a conversation with this pinball. Then I reach out to God in my mind to help me not say what I was thinking and apparently, God was busy so I end up blurting out my usual type of response.. But it's crazy how conversations go from zero and relatively normal to 100 mph and into la-la land. How many times I've had to say to myself, dude, interactions with people is not your thing so why in the hell are you doing it AGAIN??

(Insert random stock photo of a man sitting alone on a pier) There is no possibility at my age that I'm ever learning how to gracefully get out of a conversation with someone who spews out something stupid in the middle of it. I'm SO much better off just staying silent and sitting at a table in the corner alone with no one there to tell me I have a piece of lettuce stuck in my beard. Tomorrow I'm going to practice keeping my mouth closed and doing some positive reinforcement nodding instead and see how that works. I'd like to get through an entire day absent an awkward exchange with another human being and I'm wondering if that isn't a bit out of reach for me.. If it should work, no one will be more surprised than me..

I can do this.. I can do this.. I can do this..

am I still a son

I can admit to myself that my worst days continue to pile up and run deeper with time. My decent days can no longer be described as good days they are just decent. Yesterday was a decent day as the pains of my health issues were diminished to a degree that I almost felt normal again. Then today out of nowhere I find myself sitting here clouded in a state of mind that has become all too familiar.  

There is nothing new about the life I chose for myself so many years ago of being more or less disconnected from people places and things. Solitude is a choice that I made a commitment to and I’ve managed over the years to be OK with even when at times I would question if maybe I had made a mistake. But then it doesn’t take many awkward people interactions before I’m right back where God intended me to be which is by myself where I can find some level of peace. 

But peace for me now feels very different. Clearly having my mom to care for who also cared for me was the blessing I could lean on that made an otherwise life of solitude more palatable. Weaving through life for me now is more like a job with tasks I have to do that I don’t want to do but know I must. There is no wakeup call that has me bouncing towards a new day with anticipation of all that might take me to a better place. That never was an ongoing method of meeting a day for me so why then are some of these days such a darker place? The answer is very near here at a cemetery I visit where every ounce of despair and sadness within me flows like a raging river. 

Are these days like the one I'm having today temporary, or is this my new life now I often ask God. It’s less important to know the answer to that because I don’t actually think God is going to leave me here like this for much longer. My belief is that God’s intentions are not for us to suffer and I am somewhat comforted in knowing that one day he will take me by the hand and lead me to either a place where I can sort things out on my own or perhaps to the gates of heaven where I can see my mom and be whole again. 

My regrets after my mom passing are many and take up too much space in my mind on days like this. One that consistently pulls at my insides is that I wasn’t prepared for my mom to pass away. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, I wasn’t prepared and I should have been. There is no medal to award for me seeing my mom’s condition and pushing away the idea that this could be God tapping me on the shoulder to tell me your mom is dying and you had better get yourself ready for that final moment when she will be gone forever and you, you will truly be left alone for the first time in your life. An orphan of parental mortality.      

What I thought I was doing was stopping her from thinking she was in her last weeks and days of life and to get her mind on getting better. There was no getting better and what I was actually doing in hindsight was avoiding God’s hand on my shoulder and my mom telling me what was coming. I needed to get ready. My sweet loving mom’s life was ending and my life was going to be instantly transformed into something I will likely never recognize. I willfully discouraged myself from what I knew was happening and I left my well being to the winds of, I’ll handle it somehow like I always do and if it becomes too difficult or unbearable I’ll have my mom to lean on and she will give me the strength and perspective I’m lacking. Not having my mom here in my life is something I was completely unprepared for and have yet to come to terms with. Life for me is a day that is either just tolerable or as if I’m in free fall without a net to slow my descent. 

I keep telling myself there will be more days like yesterday when I felt physically better and in turn, my emotional status will level out. Then days like today make yesterday seem like years ago and the likelihood of another decent day seems unlikely. How much further can I fall before not having my net becomes the determining factor in how I look to a tomorrow. There is no road map for this journey. My father is gone, and now my mom. Am I still a son? A significant part of my identity is gone. Who will I go to now to ask about the past? Yesterday someone mispronounced my last name and all I could think of was how my mom would have been so offended and maybe my father too. I wanted to punch the guy in the throat who didn’t take kindly to my response and could have had no idea why it would mean so much to me.   

My biggest supporter, the one who occupied the greatest space in my life, the only person who has ever loved and cared for me unconditionally, my sweet mom. Give yourself time to grieve and be gentle with yourself. Contact a therapist, join a grief support group.. I am lost in a sea of well-meaning people who could have no clue how this is affecting me. God bless them but I have to figure this out on my own it's the only way I know.

This writing has served its purpose and I think I will go outside and get some air. Happy birthday tomorrow J. if you’re reading this and if not, I understand and will hope you have too much cake and laughs. The anniversary day my mom gave birth to me is coming up soon and it is my intention to have cake and remember what L. said to her before I was even born. “It will be a son and you will love him more..” And I will forever be grateful that she did. 

unhinged - the tale of two Americas

Tonights State of The Union address was a stark reminder that those who scream the loudest about hatred and injustice are themselves the vilest most hate-filled human beings our society has ever unwillingly spawned.

The stark differences in the faces and lack of applause at America's prosperity and success could not have been more telling and I hope all of America was watching. The wretched scowls of hatred and disdain on the faces of liberal democrats, while President Trump talked about how well America is doing, says it all. You have a president, one man, who wants America to be the greatest it has ever been, and you have a group of liberal democrat socialists and communists who will stop at nothing to take power. As the trajectory of America continues to soar, the liberal left becomes more and more unhinged and how anyone could support any democrat after what you saw in them tonight transcends any level of basic human common sense I've ever known anyone to have. 

Pelosi's fidgeting was more entertaining than the cutaway shots of democrats in the audience with their heads on fire. But seeing her rip up the president's speech in disgust was a gift that will continue to give right up to November for people on the fence to separate themselves at the voting booth from the hate-filled radical left who couldn't even applaud at a child getting a scholarship to go to any school her mom wants to see her attend. Forced public school indoctrination is a radical socialist's only hope for getting power in the future and they hate choice for education and but support choice when it means the right to kill a baby in the womb of its mother. 

There could not be a more clear example of the decision to be made in November than watching who celebrated America and who we saw hating it. Lowest unemployment in the history of this country for blacks, women, Hispanics, and no democrat applause. The little girl who wants to go to the school of her choice and not be trapped in a public school system that focusses on indoctrination instead of education, no applause at her getting a scholarship to go to the school of her choice. The visceral contempt liberal democrats have for this country and Americans who reject the socialism and communism they offer was on full display for anyone of any level of intellect who is able to push ideology out of the way of common sense.   

We either give up the prosperity and success this president's policies have ignited or we stop it all and go the way of socialism, communism and the death of our great republic.

I'm not a huge fan of the president's personality traits that has him saying things that sometimes make me cringe but has me laughing out loud at the response to it by liberals. I love America first and I respect an economy that is powered by rocket fuel. Tonight all you needed to see was right there for everyone to see.

I could watch nancy pelosi rip up that speech for hours in the most classless act I've ever seen and love every minute of it. You, Mr. President, have gotten deeply under this witches skin with all your success for all of us the past 3 years and I have to say, sir, well done Mr. President well done. #Bravo! #Bravo! #Bravo!               

"Results Coming Soon" -Stew Pidschitz, DNC

this total fiasco tonight has got to be God's work to try to help save us from ourselves. And these idiots want to run your country, your healthcare and ARE already indoctrinating your children as we speak in every public school system in the United States.


"The only possible explanation for the delay is: Donald Trump won the Iowa Democratic caucus!" -Ann Coulter 

NFL settles for a live camera in a strip club Super Bowl 50 Halftime

How many families watching this halftime show felt comfortable sitting there with your very young kids and watching that? What passes for talent today used to be available only at back alley strip clubs. And yes I've been to a few in my long life BUT not with young kids.

My post-game review of the NFL's latest embarrassment ahead when and if I feel like it.