The Wealth I Once Had

Success isn’t for everyone. It demands a lot that most people never see, and when you reach it, some people treat you differently—some admire it, some quietly resent it, and you can never talk about it. It's "rude..."

Life doesn’t reward everyone with a place to belong; some of us spend it quietly learning how to live without one..

There was a time when I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, punching a time clock in a cold warehouse and living paycheck to paycheck. That’s where I learned what separates those who wish and those who do, and the costs of my choice.

While others made friends and went to parties, I worked. Quietly. Alone. Trying to make myself valuable enough to people I couldn't stand to overcome my greatest fear, living broke. 

Fear of living broke drove me harder than anything else. I made sure it would never happen.

It didn’t.

But it came at a cost.

Now, having gotten older, I’m not broke. Still, the old saying that runs on a loop in my head: 

Some people are so poor all they have is money...

The memories that still make me smile come from the days when all we had was just enough.

Riding a used bicycle Mom gave me for Christmas because she couldn’t afford to buy me a new one. To this day, I remember being disappointed but I never let her know. I hope she didn't know.. Watching her work herself to exhaustion just to keep a roof over our heads. Gus, my dog.

I  didn't know we were struggling; we just didn't have a lot, but we had enough, and we had each other.

I was already rich beyond measure and didn't realize it. Oh, but I do now, oh do I ever know now..

Mom was proud of me, and I know that to be true. Still, she would have loved a house full of family and grandchildren from her son that would never come to be. She understood something it took me a lifetime and much loss to learn. 

That family is the real wealth.

They’re all gone now. What remains are the memories of a life that once held everything important.

As I move through what feels like borrowed time, I am grateful for those old memories and every extra day I’m given.

I spent a lifetime making sure I would never be broke.
It took nearly seventy years to realize I once had the greatest wealth a person can have.

A family.