Remembering the reason for the season has never been just a phrase to me. It is a reminder.
A reminder that the quiet melancholy I carry has a purpose. At almost any moment I feel half happy and half sad, and I would not want it any other way. That balance reminds me of the people I have loved and the losses that shaped my life.
There was a time when our family felt whole. That changed when the matriarchs of the family passed away and the center that held everything together slowly disappeared. My father whom I never actually knew, and my mother—who was everything good that remained—eventually left this world as well.
Yet the sadness I feel today is also a connection to them. It reminds me that love does not simply disappear.
Years ago I wrote about walking alone in this world. I did not yet understand how deep that feeling would become. But faith reminds me that none of us truly walks alone.
Christmas brings those feelings close again—the lights, the music, the familiar traditions. Sadness and light, living side by side.
Soon another year will begin. Another chance to do some good for someone else, just as my mother always believed.
Until my time here is finished, I will mention those who carry the same quiet grief in my prayers..
May God bless all of us.
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