and who will feed the Cats..

And now the stress test result = Abnormal.

At this point, it doesn’t look like I’m getting better, only less worse. That is not the outcome I was hoping all the effort I've put in would buy me. More and more, these reports feel more like a look back at the cause of death on my autopsy report.

And the worst part;

What I had hoped for was just some small level of better. What I got was just less worse. After all the effort, that's a real bitch. Every new result looks like a footnote printed on a death certificate.

Wondering out loud now about how much more of this fight I can wage, and whether the fight itself is making these conditions worse. 

I can't stop this truth in my head; no one is coming to save you, my brother. No one.

In life as in death, you will face this alone. 

And who will feed the cats..