Many years ago, an old friend from many years ago, whom I hadn't spoken to in decades, had just found out one night that both of his parents were in a severe head-on car accident. His mother was in critical condition, and his father died instantly. In one fatal moment of time, his life changed forever. No warning and without his consent. My old friend, who was always good at writing his way through tough times, wrote to me that this colossal event had magnified in his mind when the world didn't skip a beat even for a fraction of a second. As unsettling as this was at the time, it served to prepare him some years later when his mom, who had recovered from the accident, also passed away, making him a fellow orphan..
One of the toughest lessons I've had to learn is that no matter the circumstance one will face in our time here, we will have to get up, dust off, and keep going. Tomorrow will come, and then a week, a month, and for those left behind, the alarm sounds, the bills have to be paid, and many have to go off to work or the grocery store or some other mundane task, all as if nothing had happened. The world keeps spinning, night turns to day, and time marches on.
There is a saying about time, and how it can have this healing power you can't get any other way, and I hope for others, this can be true. But time hasn't done that for me, and in fact, it stood completely still until another death and then another, and now, during the summer of 2025, 4 very notable deaths since mom passed away, that I didn't see coming.
I'm sure it's easier for some who have support and use perspective to get them to accept that death is a part of life. But I wouldn't know much about that. I do know something about getting stuck in a good or a bad place and how that can be a tough thing to work your way out of, as that is my everyday now. No matter how affected you become over life-changing events, good or bad, you can't expect others to be affected in the same way you are. There are only a few people in life who will always clap when you win and cry with you when you're down. When all of those people are gone, and you're in this life alone, that is when the real work begins, and you'll either fall under the weight of it or climb out of it like the ones who are now gone would expect you to.
The summer of 2025 has been the toughest time of my life. I believe in God and have faith that all of this has some sort of purpose for which I am not expected to understand and certainly do not. I know I am not facing any of this completely alone, and that God walks beside me with every step I manage to take. But I cannot deny that I spend an inordinate amount of my time these days thinking about my own mortality. I think about death and the life I've had quite a bit now that it seems people are dying all around me. Since I've exchanged YouTube for television, Google has been putting these deaths of "notable people" in front of me lately, and I am mind-blown at the ages and causes of death that seem to track my own circumstances, giving me more reason to rethink plans I had inmy head and places I thought I might go. It's sobering to have to consider my health issues, age, and limitations I've never had to consider before, but here it is.
The echoes in my mind are from my past when all I seemed to want from anyone was to be left alone to be, go, and do whatever I wanted. Today, I wonder aloud, is this what the "be careful what you wish for" saying is about?? Perhaps it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B66DwaeXwxc
