Some days are low lights. Today was one of them. I write not for answers, but to acknowledge my own mind.
For years, I’ve thought too much about mortality, about the heart and kidney problems that remind me of life’s fragility. Most of it stays locked inside.
I made a choice long ago to live alone. Today, that choice feels heavy. I wonder how many more times I will feel sunlight on my face, warmth that touches me nowhere else. I wonder how life might have been different with someone beside me in these years.
I see my younger self in old photos: a kid who saw love but didn’t feel it, who laughed alone, unaware of the sadness that would wait. Mom gave us all she could—love, care, a life built against the odds.
Now, the house is quiet. Memories linger, unclaimed joy and silent regrets. Love, it seems, is beyond reach. Someone to share these fears can only exist in thought and words.
Mom, Gran, my father I never knew, my lost family—God, watch over me. And those who touched my life, protect them too.
Peace, Lord, if it is Your will. Forgive me for falling short, and let my heart find rest.
