I notice everything

How old would you think you are if you didn't know how old you are? 

Old movies, old people, old cars, and old stories. Old souls tend to think a lot, about everything. Constantly overthinking how things became the way they are and how we got here. Introverted, aloof, contemplative, a loner, just some of the many labels affixed to old souls by those who are not.    

The ease with which old souls see through the lies and deceptions of our society is because there is no filter being used to feel the need to fit in. In quiet times I often search for something within myself to tell of a story of why I am here in this place and this time and what purpose has anything I have ever done ever been. 

The smallest of things, the simple beauty others miss like wind in the trees, the changes in seasons when the leaves change, and then fall to the ground to be swept away and gone forever. My old soul spends a great deal of time contemplating my life and reflecting on those tough strong people and times that have left me here in a place I don't recognize to fend for myself. I find it hard to imagine ever being here without them and experiencing any real peace.

I can sit comfortably and talk with older folks but become withdrawn and estranged with others. An old soul's internal energy level matches well with older people who find pleasure in simplicity itself like sitting around a fire and actually listening and exchanging stories. We just feel old inside and it feels so natural and comforting to be with anyone whose soul is familiar. We are outsiders looking in and feeling like we don't belong in this time. There is a longing and a thirst to return back home that money, power, and nor success can take us. 

We are lone wolfs and not interested in the things or pursuits others our own age are looking for and that sense of alienation finds us with a lot of alone time where we struggle to find deep connections with people we come in contact with who don't have the same interests or values as we. 

We are spiritually inclined and tend to gravitate towards knowledge, wisdom and truth because they are the keys to power, happiness, and freedom respectively. This gets deep but we think a lot about everything and are plagued with reminders of our own mortality and those around us and therefor find social anxiety at every turn an uncomfortable and debilitating experience. Social situations are complex and tiring because there are so many elements to consider with people today, egos, insecurities, boundaries, and so on that we often just prefer to be left by ourselves. 

But when we find do find someone we connect with we often form intensely strong bonds because it's one of life's greatest joys to find a kindred spirit. We crave simplicity and are attracted to all things vintage. This is me and who I am and have always been since I'm a kid. I don't know why and don't spend time questioning it. 

The answer to the question I posed in the beginning of this introspection is, 150 to 200 years old. That is how old I feel inside. Old furniture, horse carriages, old cultures, 18th century photos, architecture and people, the by-gone eras are where I would feel most at home..

I notice everything. And by everything, I literally mean everything. I notice when someone stops hitting me up like they used to. I notice when the way someone talks to me starts changing. I notice the little things that people do, and the little things they no longer do. I notice when things change, and when it's no longer the same. I notice every single little detail. I just don't always say anything.